Oh, you’re so lovely, so handsome and lean

Come on up and see me—if you know what I mean

Rapture and passion, for hours, for days

While Nature performs her mysterious ways


Over? So quickly? Of course, satisfied!

But stop with your banter;
 I’ll ne’er be a bride.

Hush now, my hero, for you are the best,

And lean your delectable head ‘cross my breast.

You smell so delicious!
 Now, what did I say?

Have I eaten recently? 
Nope. Not today.

Not Wednesday, or Tuesday, or Monday, in fact.

How do I say this with grace and with tact?

I want you inside me once more, my sweet.

No, not as a lover, but as something to eat.

I love you, I do, and
 I wish I could give

But it’s not in my nature 
I can’t let you live!

I’m soon to be brimming with life from your seed.

Think of our children – the reason we breed.

To continue our species on ad infinitum

You’ll soon be a dad. Tears of pride? Try and hide ‘em!

Buck up.
 You got fucked!
 And though soon you’ll be dead

It’s over quite fast, since I start with your head!

CRUNCH! How I loved you! CRACK! How it hurts!

Found the man of my dreams and allowed him to burst

Inside me, yet only to lose him so fast.

I’m consoled by believing that love rarely lasts.

Alone and with children, a She Devil named,

But any of you dicks would have done just the same.